Finday, Matamín 21st, 7703 (Friday, 02-25-2011) Friday-Free-For-All Post (3FA Article) #10: The Death Of me

 i don’t want any of You to freak out.  i haven’t made any decisions yet….

Today, i was presented with the final divorce decree for me to review before signing.  Since October 22^nd, 2010 (when my ex-wife pulled a Jerry Maguire on me by taking me to a crowded restaurant on a Friday night to serve me divorce papers), i have been trying to be very reasonable and cordial to her.  i have bent over backwards to be civil and to give her anything she wanted.  i have asked for very little, despite the fact that she makes roughly 4.5 times more per year than i do.  All i have asked for is a couple of furniture items, the chance to buy the car, and maybe some other small things that are too trivial to remember.  i have set a budget for myself and am barely making it month-to-month.  Things were beginning to look up just a bit, as i have gotten my budget set and am actually surviving on a poverty-level income.

Imagine my surprise when today i read through the divorce decree and find the child support figure we had agreed to more than doubled, no mention of me being able to buy the car, and a few other zingers.  So much for her trying to be nice or civil or cordial or whatever.  Apparently, ruining my Life isn’t enough.  There must be more inflicted until i literally can’t survive.

So, i don’t know if i’ll be writing this blog much anymore.  Right now, i am thinking i may have to move in with my parents to survive, because i simply won’t be able to pay the child support figure included in the final decree.  If that # is approved, i will have to quit my job and move or become homeless.  That means i won’t have custody of my daughter at all.  i don’t know what will happen, but i know that i just simply cannot afford the number in the agreement.

So, hopefully i will be blogging in the future, but — if i’m not — then, just know that i thank all of You for reading, for Your comments both here and personally to me, and for Your Love.  i would imagine there will be no blogs next week and perhaps they might resume on March 7^th, 2011.

Gräsday, Matamín 20th, 7703 (Thursday, 02-24-2011) Personal Post (2P Article) #11: New People

“Friendship is unnecessary — like philosophy, like art.  It has no survival value.
Rather, it is one of those things that give value to survival...”.

(C. S. Lewis) 

i feel like a sea.  Ya know what i mean?

In case not, let me explain.  The Dead Sea is an anomaly.  Water comes into it via the Jordan River, but it doesn’t empty out of it.  Because of this, the water is incredibly salty and nothing can Live in it.  i feel kind of like that….

i need for there to be a flow in my Life, a giving & receiving, a coming & going, a learning & sharing, a balance.  i don't do well when it's all one way or the other....

Located on the 6000 kilometer Great Rift Valley running from the Taurus Mountains in Turkey to the Zambezi Valley in Africa, the Dead Sea is the lowest place on earth.  Unlike oceans, it is composed of 53% Potassium, 37% Magnesium, and 8% of Sodium Chlorides (that's a salinity of 33.7% or 8.6 times more salty than the oceans), enabling people to float.  Acquiring a bit of skill, one will even be able to read a newspaper in the water.

One thing that i always enjoyed about my Life (and especially when i was single and traveling a lot) was meeting new people.  i don’t know if it’s the fact that they don’t know me and don’t know much about me or if their story is new to me, but i am glad (generally speaking) to meet new people.  It seems to invigorate me and keep me interested in Life.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  i Love old people, too (that was really just a cheap way to call my long-time friends “old”…i apologize for that, and, LORD, help the pygmies in Africa…).  Anyway, i digress….

Sometimes, i need an old friend.  Someone who knows me, who i can’t lie to and get away with it, someone who knows my past and uses that to inspire me and not to judge me.  Someone who has history with me and can tell my daughter stories on me, someone who has witnessed the growth that has occurred in me, someone who remembers me from decades gone by in their own Life and can recall the good and the hard times we’ve shared.  Those kind of friends are essential, and i am a rich man in that regard.  Very rich.  The list of people who are on my friends list is long and deep and good….

New friends, though, are good, too.  It is fun, energizing, and interesting to meet new people and to make new friends.  i look forward to hearing their stories about what they’ve overcome, to learn who they share Life with in daily & sacred ways, to listen about their families, to discover their passions and gifts and talents, to notice their idiosyncrasies, to experience their fellowship.  i enjoy eventually moving their names from the new friends list to the old friends list.

i am going to post a sermon here that i posted on my old Facebook page a long time ago, but many people who come here were never privy to my old FB page.  It’s a sermon by the great Fred Craddock called When The Roll Is Called Down Here (to listen to the sermon, for which You will Thank me over and over again, click here.  i have put the Scripture text (Romans 16) referenced as well as the text of the entire sermon below for Your perusal).  If You get a chance, listen to it and be Blessed.  Remember Your friends.  Thank God for them.  And, remember, when i say that to You, i mean for You to Thank Him for both the old friends who have been walking alongside You for decades sprinkling grace and mercy and Love and compassion and hope and encouragement and forgiveness and all kinds of other goodies along Your mutual path but also for the ones You have yet to meet who will adorn Your ChristLife with new fragrances, characteristics, wisdoms, and laughs.  Old wine may taste sweeter, but it’s hard to beat fresh-picked grapes.  Cherish both....

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Scripture Text Reference (Romans 16 — Partially quoted below) for When The Roll Is Called Down Here:

i commend to You our sister Phoebe, who is a servant of the ekklesia which is at Cenchrea that You receive her in the LORD in a manner worthy of the saints, and that You help her in whatever matter she may have need of You — for she herself has also been a helper of many and of myself as well.  Greet Prisca and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus, who — for my Life — risked their own necks and to whom not only do i give thanks but also all the ekklesias of the Gentiles.  Also, greet the ekklesia that is in their house.  Greet Epaenetus, my beLoved, who is the first convert to Christ from Asia.  Greet Mary, who has worked hard for You.  Greet Andronicus & Junias, my kinsmen and my fellow prisoners, who are outstanding among the apostles and who also were in Christ before me.  Greet Ampliatus, my beLoved in the LORD.  Greet Urbanus, our fellow worker in Christ, and Stachys my beLoved.  Greet Apelles, the approved in Christ.  Greet those who are of the household of Aristobulus.  Greet Herodion, my kinsman.  Greet those of the household of Narcissus, who are in the LORD.  Greet Tryphaena & Tryphosa, workers in the LORD.  Greet Persis the beLoved, who has worked hard in the LORD.  Greet Rufus, a choice man in the LORD, also his mother — and mine.  Greet Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermes, Patrobas, Hermas, and the brethren with them.  Greet Philologus & Julia, Nereus and his sister, and Olympas and all the saints who are with them.  Greet one another with a holy kiss.  All the ekklesias of Christ greet You.  Now, i urge you, brethren, keep Your eye on those who cause dissensions and hindrances contrary to the teaching which You learned and turn away from them.  For such men are slaves, not of our LORDChrist but of their own appetites, and by their smooth and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting.  For the report of Your obedience has reached to all.  Therefore, i am rejoicing over You, but want You to be wise in what is good and innocent in what is evil.  Timothy my fellow worker greets You, and so do Lucius and Jason and Sosipater, my kinsmen.  i, Tertius, who write this letter, greet You in the LORD.  Gaius, host to me and to the whole church, greets You.  Erastus, the city treasurer greets You, and Quartus, the brother.

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Sermon Text for When The Roll Is Called Down Here:

i hope You will not feel guilty if Your heart was not all aflutter during the reading of the text.  It’s not very interesting.  It’s a list…a list of names…a list of strange names.  i always tell my students in preaching class, “When You’re preaching from biblical texts, avoid the lists.  They’re deadly — Don’t preach from the lists!”

It seems that Paul is calling the roll.  That’s a strange thing in itself.   i have never worshipped in a church in which anyone got up and called the roll.  It could be very dull.  Well, it could…it could be interesting in a way…

Calling the roll sometimes is not all that bad.  Last December, i was summoned: “Superior Court, DeKalb County, Georgia” to serve on the jury.  On Monday morning at nine o’clock, 240 of us formed a pool out of which the jurors for civil and criminal cases would be chosen.

The deputy clerk of the superior court stood and called the roll: 240 names.  She did not have them in alphabetical order — Ya had to listen.  And while i was listening, i began to listen…

There were two Bill Johnsons.  One was black, and one was white, and they were both "Bill Johnson."

There was a man named “Clark,” a Mister Clark, who answered when the clerk read, “Mrs. Clark.”

And he said, “Here.”

And she looked up and said, “Mrs. Clark.”

And he said, “Here.”

And she said, “Mrs. Clark.”

And he stood up and said, “Well, i thought the letter was for me, and i opened it.”

The she said, “We summoned Mrs. Clark.”

And he said, “Well, i'm here.  Can i do it?  She doesn’t have any interest in this sort of thing.”

And the clerk said, “Mr. Clark, how do You know?  She doesn’t even know she’s been summoned.”

This roll call is pretty good.

There was a man there whose name i wrote down phonetically because i couldn't spell it.  His name was Zurfell Lishenstein. Zurfell Lishenstein.  i remember it because they went over it five or six times, mispronouncing it.  He insisted it be pronounced correctly and finally stood in a huff and said, “i see no reason why i should serve on a jury in a court that can’t pronounce my name!”

The woman next to me said, “Lichenstein? i wonder if he’s a Jew?”

i said, “Well, i don't know…could be.  Does it matter?”

And she said, “i am German. my name is Zeller.”

And i said, “Well, it doesn’t matter. That was forty years ago.”

And she said, “He and i could be seated next to each other in a jury.”

i said, “Well, You were probably just a child when all of that happened years ago.”

And she said, “i was ten years old.  i visited Grandmother.  She Lived about four miles from Buchenwald.   i smelled the odor....”

Calling the Roll.  You know, a person could get interested in Paul’s calling the roll, even if it’s no more than to say, “i wonder how Paul knew all those people, since he had never been to the church.”  i wonder if, back then, You could buy mailing lists?  After all, he wants to raise money in Rome for his Spanish mission, and he is politically wise — and he says, “Tell this one “hello” and that one “hello.” ”

Some scholars think this doesn’t even belongs in Romans.  He’s never been to Rome.

But i could get interested in the roll call, because it gives a kind of sociological profile of the membership of the church.  Now, i don’t expect You to remember, but — in the list — there is a husband & wife, Aquila & Priscilla.  There’s a man and his mother: Rufus and his mother.  There is a brother & sister: Nereus and his sister.  There are brothers: Andronicus & Junias.  There are sisters: Tryphaena & Tryphosa.  There is an old man: Epeanetus.  Isn’t that an interesting profile of the church?  There’s a single woman: Mary.  There’s a single man: Herodion.  Not a lot of nuclear family there at all, except as Christ has called them together.  It’s an interesting list — sort of. Not very....

But for Paul it’s not a list.  Don’t call it a list!

He’s packing his stuff.  He’s in the home of Gaius, in Corinth, who is host to Paul and host to the church in Corinth.  And Paul is getting ready to go West to Italy and to Spain.  He’s about to move to a new parish — one far away.  He is now about sixty years old — fifty-nine years old, i would guess.  He feels he has one more good ministry in him.

Most churches don’t want a person fifty-nine years old, but those churches had no choice because Paul started his own.  And he wants to have one other ministry, because he got a late start.  He was probably about thirty-five when he started.

He doesn’t have much to pack — his coat and his books and a few other things.  And, while he is throwing things away to trim down the load for packing and moving, he comes across some notes and some correspondence — and he sits down among the boxes and begins to remember.

Don’t call it a list….

You’ve done it Yourself.  When my wife & i finished our service at the student church — when in seminary — on our last Sunday there, they gave us a gift.  It was a quilt some of the women of the church had made, and they stitched into the top of the quilt the names of all the church members.  And every time we move and we come across that quilt, we spread it out on the bed and we start remembering.

We remembered something about every…there’s Chester, who voted against and persuaded the others to vote against my raise.  There’s Mary & John, who put new tires on our car.  There’s Loy, very quiet and never said anything.  There is his wife, Marie.  There is this marvelous woman, Lois, who Lived with that man who drank and became violent, and yet she was always faithful and pleasant — and he was dying with cancer when we went. my first funeral there — You remember?  And this is the way we go over the quilt….

Don’t call it a list. Paul said, “Don’t call it a list!”

Aquila and Priscilla — they risked their necks for me.  Andronicus & Junias — we were in jail together.  They’re great Christians.  There’s Mary.  Mary worked hard.  She was there when everybody else quit.  She’s the one who always said, “Now Paul, You go on home.  i'll put things up.  i'll put the hymnals away and i’ll pick up all the papers and straighten the chairs.  You go on home.  You’re tired.”

“Well, Mary, You’re tired too.”

“Yes, Paul, but You’ve got to ride a donkey across Asia tomorrow.  You go on.  i’ll pick up here.”  Mary worked hard.

Epaenetus — the first person converted under my preaching, and i didn’t sleep a wink that night saying, “Thank God, finally somebody heard.”  The first one to respond to the Gospel.  What a marvelous day that was.

Tryphaena and Tryphosa — obviously twins.  You hear it, don’t You, in the names: Tryphaena & Tryphosa?  They always sat on this side, and they both wore blue every Sunday.  i never knew them apart, really.  One of them had a mole on her cheek, but I didn’t know if it was Tryphaena or Tryphosa.  I never did get them straight.

And Rufus — tell Rufus “hello” and tell his mother “hello,” because she’s my mother, too.

Isn’t that something?  Some woman earned from this apostle the title “mother.”  Can’t You see her — this woman able to be mother to Paul?  Probably stayed in their home.  She was a rather large woman — always had an apron — a lot of things stuffed in the pocket of the apron.  Hair pulled back in a bun.  Fixed a good breakfast.  Paul said, “i’m sorry — i can’t stay. i have to be on my way.”  “Sit down and eat Your breakfast!  i don’t care if You are an apostle — You’re gonna eat.”  “Tell my mother hello!”

This is not a list….

i remember when they brought the famous list to Atlanta.  The workers set it up in the public place — block after block — to form a long wall of names: Vietnam names.

Some of us looked at it like it were a list of names.  Others went over closer.  Some walked slowly down the column.  There was the woman who went up and put her finger on a name, and she held a child up and put the child’s hand on a name.  There was a woman there who kissed the wall at a name.  There were flowers lying beneath the wall….

Don’t call it a list.  It’s not a “list.”

In fact, these names in Romans 16 are, for Paul, extremely special, because — even though he says “hello” — say “hello” to, say “hello” to, say “hello” to…what he really is saying is “Goodbye.”  O, he’s going to Rome, he says, but before he goes to Rome he has to go to Jerusalem.  He’s going with the offering, and he’s going into a nest of hostility.  And so at the end of chapter fifteen, he says to these people, “Pray with me.  Agonize with me that i won’t be killed in Jerusalem, that the saints will accept the money in Jerusalem…that i’ll get to come back and be with You. Please…pray.”

These are not just names.

Do You have a piece of paper?  Do You have a piece of — Well, use Your worship bulletin.  Would You write in the margins somewhere or at the bottom these words, “i Thank my God for all my remembrance of You.”  i Thank my God for all my remembrance of You, and write a name.  You choose the name.  You remember the name.  Write another name and another name and another name.

Before i married and was serving a little mission in the Appalachians, i moved — in my service — down to a place on Watts Barr Lake between Chattanooga and Knoxville — a little village.  It was the custom in that church at Easter to have a baptismal service, and my church immerses and it was held as baptismal service in Watts Barr Lake on Easter evening at sundown.  Out on a sand bar, i — with the candidates for baptism — moved into the water and then they moved across to the shore where the little congregation was gathered singing around a fire and cooking supper.  They had constructed little booths for changing clothes with blankets hanging, and — as the candidates moved from the water — they went in and changed clothes and went to the fire in the center.  And finally — last of all — i went over, changed clothes, and went to the fire.

Once we were all around the fire, this is the ritual of that tradition.  Glen Hickey — always Glen — introduced the new people: gave their names, where they lived, and their work.  Then the rest of us formed a circle around them, while they stayed warm at the fire.

And the ritual was each person in the circle gave her or his name and said this,

“my name is ____, and if You ever need…If You ever need somebody to do washing and ironing...”

“my name is ____ if You ever need anybody to chop wood...”

“my name is ____ if You ever need anybody to baby-sit...”

“my name is ____ if You ever need anybody to repair Your house...”

“my name is ____ if You ever need anybody to sit with the sick...”

“my name is ____ if You ever need a car to go to town...”

And around the circle, and then we ate, and then we had a square dance.  And, at a time they knew — i didn’t know, Percy Miller — with thumbs in his bibbed overalls — would stand up and say, “It’s time to go.”  And everybody left, and he lingered behind and — with his big shoe — kicked sand over the dying fire.  And my first experience of that, he saw me standing there, still.  And he looked at me and said, “Craddock, folks don’t ever get any closer than this.”

In that little community, they have a name for that.  i’ve heard it in other communities, too.  In that community, their name for that is “church.”  They call that “church.”

Have You written any names?  Do You have a name or two?  Keep the list. Keep the list, because — to You — it’s not “a list.”  In fact, the next time You move, keep that.  Even if You have to leave Your car and Your library and Your furniture and Your typewriter and everything else — take that with You.  In fact, when Your ministry has ended and You leave the earth, take it with You.

i know, i know, i know.  When You get to the gate, Saint Peter’s gonna say, “Now, look, You went into the world with nothing — You’ve got to come out of it with nothing.  Now what have You got?

And You say, “Well, it’s just some names.”

“Well, let me see it.”

“Well now, this is just some names of folk i worked with and folk who helped me.”

“Well, let me see it.”

“Well, this is just a group of people that — if it weren't for them — i’d have never made it.”

He said, “i want to see it.”

And You give it to him, and he smiles — and he says, “i know all of them.  In fact — on my way here to the gate — i passed a group.  They were painting a great big sign to hang over the street, and it said, ‘Welcome home....’ ”

Crēday, Matamín 19th, 7703 (Wednesday, 02-23-2011) Theological Post (TP Article) #11: Struggling During The Dry Times

Last night, i had dinner with a dear friend.  He is one of the people about whom i most care in this world, and he has been through many difficulties in his Life that probably would have crippled me.  Some of these struggles are ongoing, but i Love this friend like a brother and value him more than i can express with mere words — such an expression would only be possible in hugs or tears or some other form.

He came to see me earlier in the day and confided in me about something that is common to so many people i know and with whom i visit: maintaining intimacy with God during seasons of struggle.  i don’t think he minds me using his story as a jumping-off point for this article, but i won’t get into any specifics of his path.  i just know that what he is enduring is a common trial and a kind of suffering that is way more common than any of us want to admit happens at all — much less to us….

Listen to "The Cave by Mumford & Sons"

As someone who is trained in the art of analysis with years of my Life devoted to understanding various kinds of philosophy and a high proclivity along with several years of training in mathematics (both of which include a heavy emphasis on logic), high-level graduate studies in less logical philosophical forms like postmodernism and deconstructionism, theological training in ethics, sociology, history, etc., and linguistics including learning foreign languages, writing & research, rhetorical analysis, debate & argumentation, etc., i am adept and comfortable Living in the land of theory.  So, i am good at analyzing situations, connecting the dots into the correct pattern, and then being able to offer a solution.  As a counselor, often i am able to give people a theoretical backdrop that helps them understand the more practical & pragmatic areas of their Lives.

However, the theory matters to most people mainly in its ability to help them manage, cope, structure, order, or orient their Lives in a more useful, profitable, & healthy way.  People hate doing things they don’t understand, and the theory is the understanding part of our behaviors.  i use theory to help people draw a straight line from their behaviors to what they Truly believe — not what they think they believe, but what they Truly believe.

i say that to tell You that i get it, though.  Despite being useful for my ability to articulate and explain theory to people, i understand its purpose as it regards to actual behavior, feelings, thought patterns, and actions.  i know that theory is not more important than behavior; i just wonder if other people know behavior is not more important than theory.  As a matter of fact, both are equally important to the thing that matters the most: fruit.

Having established all of that, here is the issue: people don’t feel close to God when they are struggling, and that causes lots of problems.  Today, i want to share with You what i shared with my friend last night in the hopes that it may help You a bit if You ever experience dry times in a hot, quiet, vast desert that overwhelms You, causes You to despair of Life, and relegates You to feeling alone, lost, provisionless, and vulnerable.  God forbid that You ever suffer such a time or season or period, but — if You’re a human being — You will most likely encounter that at some point or other.  It’s part of our human journey….

The first thing i told my friend was that we think about God wrongly often and think that He is much more rigid, aloof, and concerned about another set of things altogether than He actually is.  Now, i know that what i am about to say may seem heretical to most Christians, but that is not going to deter me from saying it.  i know it to be the Truth, and how people deal with that is up to them….

It is True that there is a godly way to do everything, and that any other way is not godly.  However, sometimes i think people interpret that Truth to mean that God doesn’t have anything to do with people when they sin (usually because of the misguided belief that — since God is holy (or “different” or “other”) — He, therefore, cannot be around sin or tolerate sin…which is complete rubbish and leaves no room for redemption among many other problems with this view) and leaves us to ourselves to figure a way out of our self-made predicaments.  And, yet, i wanted my friend (and all of You) to know that God is involved all the time with people who are sinful or lost or hostile to Him.

If God didn’t choose to intervene on our behalf or get involved in our circumstances or rescue us from awful situations, He’d never have any interactions with human beings.  That doesn’t mean that He approves of the sin, but it also doesn’t mean that He can’t stand it — or You.  i know this is going to come as a shock to some people, but sin, like everything else, is a creation of God.  He gave You the choice in the first place, and — without that choice — there is no such thing as “sin.”  He knew that You would have the option of “sinning” (going Your own way and missing the mark intended for You to aim to hit) or of “glorifying” (submitting to go His way and partnering with Your Abba in His work).  While no one would argue that God didn’t create Lucifer just because Lucifer happens to have made an oppositional choice to God, people do often want to contend that God can’t stand sin.  Nonsense.  Sin is not an obstacle to God — there is no such thing as an obstacle to God (except for things He allows to be obstacles, like our free will).  It is just simply unTrue that God can’t stand sin or won’t tolerate sin.  If either of those propositions were True, we all would be in deep trouble….

Therefore, the first thing i want You to know is that God is at work — even in the midst of Your struggle and — yes — even in Your sin, too.  It is just not accurate to say that God cannot or will not accomplish good in sinful circumstances.  The examples of this are honestly limitless, but let me give You just one to make the point.  Let’s imagine that You have two people who have had sexual trauma from abuse in their backgrounds, and they form a relationship and begin having sex outside of marriage.  Is that the optimum environment for healing to occur sexually — without the safety of a marriage covenant to provide unconditional acceptance and security?  No, it’s not.  Is intercourse outside marriage sinful?  Yes, it is.  Would there be a better way to handle what those people are feeling for each other?  Yes, there would be.  However, what happens when You come across two people in that scenario who were Loving and gentle and reassuring to one another and they found a measure of healing in each of their Lives due to the relationship and interaction between them?  Do You suddenly conclude that God cannot accomplish healing between two human beings outside of marriage even though the vast majority of healing has nothing to do with sex and almost always occurs between human beings?  Of course not, and instead You conclude that God is bigger than any person or trauma or set of circumstances and can, therefore, accomplish good even out of bad or less than optimum or even sinful situations.

So, don’t dismiss what God does in Your Life during the times of struggle and pain and loss and suffering and injustice and despair and trouble and You respond to those stimuli in godliness and righteousness and humility and submission.  But don’t dismiss what God does in Your Life during those times and You respond in opposition to Him or apathy toward Him or anger or pride or resignation or any other less-than-godly reaction, either.  God is working.  Period.  He is always working….

The second thing i told my friend is that God doesn’t need my friend’s participation to rescue him.  Now, just as the first point will probably make people mad, because they have been taught an erroneous lie that God can’t stand or won’t tolerate sin, this point is likely to make You feel less significant and like You matter less than You ever thought.  Stay with me, and listen to what i’m saying in the end — not just what it seems that i might be saying in the beginning.  God doesn’t need Your help to rescue You….

That’s right — God doesn’t need You to help Him or to allow Him or even to want Him to rescue You.  Your participation doesn’t matter at all.  Let me illustrate this Truth for You.  When i was in high school, i was injured playing basketball, and my back was sprained pretty severely.  The doctor who saw me prescribed (yes, on a prescription pad) Lifeguard training for me.  (Since i was 14 years old, i wasn’t allowed into the Lifeguard training class sponsored by the city, because i wouldn’t be able to work as a Lifeguard until i was working-age at 16.  The doctor knew this, and so he prescribed Lifeguard training for me as a medical necessity to override the city’s policy.  Just that part of the story is a fascinating thing to me and can teach us a great deal about the spiritual dynamics behind providence, ordination, and Blessing…).  Anyway, when i arrived the first night for the class, the instructor was a former beach Lifeguard supervisor for San Diego.  She promptly announced that we would tread water for 45 minutes and anyone left after that could start training.  Several people left immediately, and then she trained the rest of us how to properly tread water.  It was an amazing experience for me from start to finish.

On the first night, the first lesson was how to rescue someone.  It was the foundation of the class on which everything after that built.  She explained to us that — when a person who can’t swim is drowning — they will not be of any help to You.  In fact, they will automatically drown You to get just one more breath — even though that is not in their long-term interest.  The point she was trying to make to us (and did, by the way, very effectively as she almost drowned several of us over the next few minutes) is that a person who is in survival mode and has switched from rational thinking to instinct cannot (literally can not) listen and obey Your instructions as You try to save them.  So, she taught us how to speak to people in that situation as we approached them, how to circumvent their ability to touch us or get their hands on us, how to restrain them and put them in a full-Nelson or some other type of restraint hold, and how to cart them safely back to shore.  Then, she tried to kill us (like any drowning person would do) as she made us attempt to rescue her.  It was an eye-opening endeavor, let me assure You.  The most amazing part was when she told us that — if worse came to worse — we should let them drown and resuscitate them at shore instead of both dying.  Wow.  There was blood in the water and a broken arm at the end of it all, but she clearly and searingly made the point to all of us as we limped away to come back the next night and resume our training.  i never thought twice about whether or not a person who was dying could help me at all while i was trying to save them over the years.  They can’t help me, and i know and accept that fact.  i also know that — given the chance — they will kill me if i let them….

Please don’t think that God needs Your help to rescue You — He doesn’t.  He is perfectly capable — as are those trained Lifeguards — of getting You to shore, administering CPR or whatever measures necessary, and doing anything else to save You.  Of course, it helps for You to cooperate, but it isn’t required if He decides to do it without You.

Therefore, what i told my friend was this: Be genuine, authentic, & real with God.  Don’t worry about being angry or yelling at Him or giving up or whatever.  Just be real.  He can handle it — whatever You have to give Him.  What He can’t stand is lukewarmness, but He can take hot or cold.  The Psalms are replete with this kind of raw emotion and distorted perspective and human frustration.  People sometimes wonder why the story of Job or the perspective of Solomon or Jeremiah or the Psalms that are less-than-joyful are in Scripture.  Well, they are in there to let You know that it’s OK, and that our God isn’t threatened or surprised or unaware of our predicaments, our opinions, or our responses to any number of painful factors.

So, secondly, be authentic with God, and know that He both can and is willing to rescue You despite whether or not You choose to participate in His salvation of You….

The third thing i want You to know is that God will provide someone in Your Life to help You.  i told my dear friend that i am there for him, that i Love him more than a brother, and that i will do anything in my power to help, care for, or otherwise Bless him as he undergoes suffering in this Life.  Now, that is an important thing — the solidarity of a fellow human being.

In Scripture, it’s called “koinonia,” which is usually translated into English as “fellowship.”  This is the entire basis for the Lord Of The Rings series (especially the first part called The Fellowship Of The Ring).  i blogged about this on Crēday, Matamín 12th, 6636 (Wednesday, 02-16-2011) Theological Post (TP Article) #10: Helping Each Other Limp Along.

As we ate together and hung out, i shared with my friend that one thing God has tasked me with in this Life is reducing pressure on people.  Pressure, as doctors will tell You, causes enormous problems with the human body.  Rarely does anything good come from pressure.  Although there are some useful contexts, pressure mostly causes harm, shame, and other bad effects on human beings.  Many people form their existences around pressure (if not around conflict or some other addiction), because it makes them feel “aLive,” but little do they know that it is harming them and shortening their days all along.

The third thing is this: support Your comrades in ways that reduce pressure on them, and look for people who will do that for You as You endure suffering.  A cup of cold water is worth much more than most people realize, but that is not a foreign concept to our God.

i hope all of You realize how much i root for You as You go through Your days.  Each day Truly has enough trouble of its own, and i am firmly on Your side as You navigate the stormy and pirate-filled seas around You.  Blessings to You today from the LORD Most High, and all my Love….

Ünday, Matamín 18th, 7703 (Tuesday, 02-22-2011) Cultural Post (CP Article) #10: The Expectations Game

“Ambition is the last refuge of failure…”.
(Oscar Wilde)

“Expecting the world to treat You fairly because You are a good person is

a little like expecting a bull not to attack You because You are a vegetarian…”.
(Dennis Wholey)

“Keep high aspirations, moderate expectations, and small needs…”.
(William Howard Stein)

Well, i was going to write a scathing article tonight about Wisconsin and how both sides are completely wrong, but i think i’ll focus on more broad concerns as i blog about our expectations being out of whack.  Expectations play a key part in each person’s Life.

i am choosing to write about expectations, because they spring from an entitlement mentality.  Expectations are predicated upon a reasonable assumption that derives from a “right” (entitlement) to something.  In America in 2011, You would be hard-pressed to find anyone who does not think they are entitled to a great deal.

Now, the reason we think we are entitled to any particular thing may be radically different, politically speaking.  For example, most people who lean left believe they are entitled due to their belonging to the human race — in other words, they believe being human entitles them to certain things and a specific kind of Lifestyle.  They will use words like “dignity,” “morality,” and other terms that they assign ontological, humanistic, and existential meanings and try to argue that entitlement springs forth from a value beyond human calculation.  Curiously, they often are atheistic or, at the very least, hostile to God in their philosophical formulations — a strange posture for someone arguing for ethics.  On the contrary, most people who lean right believe they are entitled due to their work ethic or their belief in productivity.  In other words, they believe they have done the requisite work, accomplished the mandatory minimum, or performed the required task to “deserve” their reward.  It is not an entitlement that springs forth from value like that of the left persuasion as much as it is an entitlement that results from a quid pro quo.  Those who default to a productivity rationale (like capitalists, for example) believe that they are entitled to their expectations based on the notion of stewardship.  If i pay Your salary as a citizen taxpayer, then i have the right to expect You to wait on me at the DMV instead of making copies for the March Madness pool, for example.  In all of these cases, expectations derive from a sense of entitlement that spans the political gamut.

Expectations are dangerous, and they should be handled with care.  As a cousin to their less-pretty relative called “Assumption,” expectations are often more noble in their clothing.  They claim to have firm footing, to be reasonable, to be logical.  Don’t fall for it — it’s a trap.  Another cousin to expectation, “Intentions,” is similarly troublesome.  Intentions like to parade around as if they are a walking get-out-of-jail-free card.  They are the public professional athletes & celebrities who expect to be let off the hook for their drug addictions, harmful behavior, and outright rudeness based solely on who they are.  “Don’t You know who i am,” intentions like to ask.  Don’t buy it — they will hurt You….

You should be careful of having expectations of anyone — even Yourself.  Unless You are in a covenant with someone (and even then, You shouldn’t count on them as if they are above reproach) or unless we are talking about God, You should rarely place expectations on others.  Doing so puts them in a no-win situation and sets You up for disappointment.

Now, i’m not saying it’s quite like Doc Holliday’s response to Wyatt Earp (Wyatt asks, “Is that supposed to let me off the hook?”  Doc replies, “There is no hook, my friend. There's only what we do…”).  That would be too fatalistic.  What i am saying is that when we impose arbitrary expectations on people, we are bound to be disappointed when they either can’t Live up to them or else didn’t know they were supposed to Live up to them.  It’s unfair to ask a fish to mow the yard or to ask a cat to give the dog a bath.  It doesn’t work that way.  Similarly, it’s unfair to ask a healer to harm or a counselor to just “git ‘er done” or a soldier to look at the larger picture.  It’s unreasonable to ask a politician to solve problems, because politicians — by definition — cause problems instead of solve them.  It’s unreasonable to ask a union to concede, because their whole purpose for existing is to push and push and push.  It’s unreasonable to ask a spouse to be God or to ask God to be human.  It’s unreasonable to expect a child to be an adult or to ask a parent to not be concerned about their children.

Today, maybe we could all take a step back and examine our expectations.  Why do we feel entitled to something from the people from whom we expect to receive?  What is it about our outlook that makes us believe we deserve or have a right or should receive something from that person or institution or group?  i will submit to You that You very rarely have the right to expect anything from someone, and — when You do have a valid assertion — You need to be careful about the boundaries and parameters and extents of those expectations.  Personally, my motto with regard to expectations is an adaptation from a quote in Machiavelli’s The Prince (later recited as the Godfather’s belief in The Godfather, Part II and see a very interesting discussion on Machiavelli here) that one should “Keep Your beliefs close and Your expectations closer...”.

The fact is we are not entitled to much, except the right to choose how we use our breath, time, & Life.  Accordingly, i believe we should spend less energy being frustrated at the disappointed expectations we had for others and spend more energy receiving gratefully what we are given or investing energy to cultivate different outcomes by a better process and not by more leverage.  Just a thought….

Covday, Matamín 17th 7703 (Monday, 02-21-2011) Philosophical/Political Post (3P Article) #10: Truth

“There is no god higher than Truth…”.
(Mahatma Gandhi)

“Y’shua said to him, ‘I AM the Way and the Truth and the Life…”.
(The Gospel Of John, Chapter:Verse 14:6a)

“Truth is rarely writ in ink; it Lives in nature…”.
(Martin H. Fischer)

“The trouble about man is twofold:

He cannot learn Truths which are too complicated;

He forgets Truths which are too simple…”.
(Rebecca West)

“They questioned Y’shua, saying,

“Teacher, we know that You speak & teach correctly and

are not partial to any person(s), but rather teach the Way of God in Truth…”.
(The Gospel Of Luke, Chapter:Verse 20:21)

“Truth has very few friends — and those few are suicides…”.
(Antonio Porchia in Voces in 1943,
Translated from the Spanish original by W.S. Merwin)

“The greatest enemy of any one of our Truths may be the rest of our Truths…”.
(William James)

"I will ask the Father, and Abba will give You another Helper so that

Your Father may be with You forever: the Spirit of Truth — whom the world cannot 
receive, because the world does not see Him or know Him.
However, You know the Spirit of Truth, because

He abides with You and He will be in You.

I will not leave You as orphans.  No, instead I will come to You.
(The Gospel Of John, Chapter:Verse 14:16-18)

“It will never be possible by pure reason to arrive at some absolute Truth…”.
(Werner Heisenberg, Physics and Philosophy)

“Y’shua was saying to those Jews who had believed Him,

‘If You continue in My word, then You are Truly disciples who belong to Me — and
You will know the Truth, and the Truth will make You free…’ ”.
(The Gospel Of John, Chapter:Verse 8:32)

Truth, like milk, arrives in the dark, but — even so — wise dogs don't bark.
Only mongrels make it hard for the milkman to come up the yard.
(Christopher Morley in Dogs Don't Bark At The Milkman)

In my undergraduate & graduate philosophy studies, i was exposed to one of the lines of philosophical questions often posed & considered that has to do with the concept of “truth.”  Specifically, a key question has to do with the notions of “objective truth” and “absolute truth.”  In what i would call an ontologically-oriented discussion (although others may not share that view), a commonly posed question is:

Assuming the “existence” of “God” or some creative

deity responsible for the whole of creation,

is that “Being” held to an “objective” standard or

does that “Being” determine the standard?

In other words, does God have the right to say what is “right” and what is “wrong”?  What is “sinful” and what is “righteous”?  What is “moral” and what is “immoral”?  Or is God beholden to some arbitrary standard of “goodness” that is outside of Him?

You might want to consider Your answer carefully before just reflexively throwing spaghetti up against the wall and hoping it sticks….

Truth is a person, and His Name is Y’shua Christos.  He is the Messiah (literally “Anointed One”) of the LORD Most High or, specifically as known by His Name, YHWH (Blessed be His Name).  The problem with Y’shua (or “Jesus” as Westerners call Him) is that He didn’t go quietly into the bad night, much less a good night.  He didn’t retreat from death and back Himself into good standing with humanity by being a “good” person who is fondly remembered for preaching Love or tolerance or acceptance.  Instead, He fought (albeit a spiritual fight and not an earthly one) and defeated our enemy by making a public spectacle of him like stringing up a horse-thief in the dry, dusty center of a burgeoning mining camp for everyone to see what happens to His enemies.  Instead, He conquered death and removed its power over us and led captives back from the confines of a dark dictatorship more sinister than anything ever imagined in the movies.  Instead, He and His Father demand acknowledgment as God — not by threatening or manipulating or coercing or forcing, but rather by simply holding out an offer of covenant relationship.  Y’shua is not someone Who preached a warm & fuzzy kind of emotional Love, but rather a tenacious, unyielding, and sacrificial kind of self-denying Love hemmed in on all sides by covenantal obligations, salvific intentions, familial bonds, & eternal fulfillment.  Instead of mere honesty, He craves trusting openness…instead of mere tolerance, He models forgiving forbearance…instead of mere acceptance, He offers existence-altering adoption.  He isn’t just a savior or simply an ambassador or one more teacher or any one thing for that matter, although He is each of those things.  Instead, we should listen to the descriptions He uses to define Himself….

He defined Himself by saying such things as “I AM the Way, the Truth, & the Life,” “I AM the bread that has come down from Heaven,” “I AM the First and the Last,” etc.  These descriptions are important, and none more so than “I AM the Truth…”.

The notion of “absolute truth” (also referred to as “objective truth”) means that there are some things that are True regardless of any mitigating circumstances.  This notion allows no room for situational ethics, relativistic idealism, or moral ambivalence.  Instead, everything is rigid and inflexible and exhaustively determined in matters of ethics — nothing is left to chance, much less mercy.  Many people i know (and most who consider themselves “Christians,” which means disciples of Y’shua) would argue for the existence of absolute Truth.  They do this not knowing that in that very argument they undercut the very God they claim to know, to serve, and to worship.  They don’t realize that by trivializing God as a cosmic judge beholden to a greater constitution that there is also the possibility of mandatory sentencing where the judge has no discretion.  They can’t understand that by arguing that God can’t just say “murder is OK” and that it would suddenly be OK (not that He ever would do that, but He could…), that they consign God to a place of universe policeman doing the will of something greater.  They won’t acknowledge the fact that by contending that God is less-than-all-moral that He is not all-powerful.  It is a sad reality to me that so many Christians are so theologically poor as to look to a richer, poor persona and call Him wealthy when, instead, their Dad isn’t poor at all but rather beyond the reach of wealth….

On the contrary, i think that the notion of “subjective truth” is scary to some people, because they don’t think God can defend Himself to humans or to the enemy.  The roll out the trusty “slippery slope” argument to assert that “You can’t just have God making case-by-case decisions — how would that look?”  Uh, i don’t know…say merciful or just or appropriate?  The fact is that — if You take Y’shua at His Word that He IS the Truth — then He gets to say whatever He wants and that is the way it is.  Period.  There will be no arguing it or circumventing it or mitigating it….

The reality is that we can take refuge in the fact that Y’shua is Truth.  That is precisely why the Scriptures argue that He is our strong tower, our rock of refuge, our help in a time of distress.  What?  Is Ghandi gonna be able to persuade Zeus that You should go free?  Is Mohammed gonna be able to successfully argue with a set of scales as a prop to some New Age consciousness that You weren’t as bad as You seemed because You have calluses from praying five times a day?  Is Buddha gonna be able to convince the three guys in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure that You Lived a couple of Your multiple existences toward the end in a markedly more humble & Loving way?  Seriously…what do people think will happen?  Maybe we should get together the Dr. Pepper crew of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Bigfoot, etc. and fast track their membership to the Justice League so that they can join forces with Superman, the Green Hornet, the batfolks, etc. and we could put our hope in them.  Or perhaps, we would rather hope that we could find the equivalent of money in the after world and hire Plato or Cicero or some other famous advocate to stand in for the Holy Spirit.  i think i’ll go with Y’shua, the Holy Spirit, & Abba, and You can have all the fairy tale characters….

Philosophy can be helpful, but sometimes folks get outside their depth.  The question of what kind of Truth exists would better be answered by getting to know Him first.  Then, You can experience first-hand that Y’shua is a “good” Truth — the real deal and not some aspartamish substitute like Buddha, Mohammed, or Chaka Khan.  At that point, You won’t have to worry about what He decides is righteous, although it’s not like You could alter it anyway.

Subjective Truth is the only kind of Truth that really exists.  Thank God His Name is Y’shua, and Thank God He is good….

Finday, Matamín 14th, 7703 (Friday, 02-18-2011) Friday-Free-For-All Post (3FA Article) #10: Being Good...To me & To Others

i would just like to say on the record today that i have been wanting to mention this all week and have refrained until now.  i want to say “Thank You” to Lara Logan, CBS News’ Chief Foreign Correspondent.  i have been a fan of Lara’s for a long time and recently enjoyed her 60 Minutes report on the most successful sports-better in the world.  i just watched her on The Charlie Rose Show a couple of weeks ago and was moved by her analysis of the events she had been covering in Egypt before returning.  Her analysis was the best and the most Truthful of any i have heard.  Lara has been a fearless and insightful reporter in foreign locales for years, and — despite what people might think often attracts men to her — i have always been attracted to her reporting based on her unique perspective, journalistic professionalism, and idealistic objectivity.  i am very selective about who i allow to present “news” to me, and i try to listen only to people who are serious, able to consider other points of view without sacrificing their personal convictions but also without being intractably dogmatic, and who are experts in their arena who have the capacity to provide insight.  Lara meets all those criteria...

Lara returned to Egypt to cover the celebrations over Hosni Mubarak leaving, got separated from her security detail and journalistic companions, was surrounded by a group of thugs, and then endured over a half hour of sexual assault by several men.  It breaks my heart for her, her family (whom she discussed with Charlie only days before the event and their fears for her safety), and for the people at CBS News who Love her as a colleague and have responsibility for her welfare.  i want to wish Lara a speedy recovery physically, a perfectly-paced path of healing and wholeness emotionally, and a spiritual reality of peace, continued courage, & hope for the future as she deals with all of this trauma.  Lara, we are praying for You.  Be Blessed, Lara….

Well, today is Finday (Friday), so it’s the Friday-Free-For-All.  Lately, i’ve been posting things i used in my family to Bless them, but my computer has crashed rendering access to such things impossible temporarily.  i may soon post the personal calendar i use for each month of the year i observe at the beginning of each month.  You may have noticed that i call the nights/days (Yes, i begin each day at sunset and not at midnight) & months by different names than the Western world or the Jewish society.  As always, there is a reason for that different nomenclature, and i will begin explaining more of that as it begins in April (when the new year that i observe starts).

However, for today, i think i will blog about being “stuck.”  It seems to me that many people are stuck in their Lives.  i know i have been for several years.  In my personal situation, it was the result of a multiplicity of factors including (but not limited to) my education and its impact upon my career arc, my marriage, my personal giftings and their value to society, my desires, my immaturities & maturities, my fears, my past hurts, traumas, & experiences, and much more.  Being “stuck” and existing in limbo is no way to go, but it’s hard to get out of that rut once in it.  At that point, my own personal experience is that it feels more confining than optional and more like a prison than a rut….

Part of the issue for me is giving myself things.  i’ve always been a good gift-giver, but i haven’t always been a prolific gift-giver.  In other words, people Loved the gifts i would give them, but i didn’t give them a lot or at the expected commercial holidays of American culture.  However, when i began counseling to deal with the abuse i suffered as a child, one of the first things my counselor told me was that i was going to have to learn to be “good” to myself — because i wasn’t….

Hmmm…i had never really considered that, per se.  i don’t guess — even with all my training in various things — that i had ever thought about how i treated myself.  Instead, i focused all of my energy on how i treated others.  That may be a noble notion, but it’s also misguided and naive…. 

A teacher whom i greatly respect used to routinely say to me in various contexts, “You can’t give out of what You don’t have…”.  He meant that if You aren’t forgiven, then You can’t forgive.  If You’re not wealthy, then You can’t be generous monetarily.  If You’re not courageous, then You can’t encourage.  When my counselor told me that i would have to learn to be good to myself, my teacher’s words echoed in my mind and the two statements came together for me.

Now, i know that i must learn to be good…to myself and to others.  So, my divorce has triggered a lot of introspection, reflection, & self-examination with a few questions at the center of the self-dialogue.  One of those questions has been, “How can i be good to myself?”  A follow-up to that has been, “What can and will You give to Yourself to allow You to be more at shalom (peace)?”  That means that i have to be able to answer with specifics of what can and will i give to myself…restrict from myself…allow for myself…deny myself….

When i became single again, i gave myself time.  For the last twelve years, i have devoted myself to something that no longer exists: my family.  i no longer have a family.  i have a daughter and an ex-wife — and i have what Americans would call a “family” — but, in Truth, i have no family anymore.  The slate is blank.  So, where should i go?  What should i do?  How should i spend my time?  With whom should i interact?  There are lots of questions.  The courts will force me to do some things.  The ex-wife will demand i do certain things.  Employers and creditors and all kinds of people with whom i’ve spent the last twelve years building something that has collapsed will all have ideas about how to answer those questions, but they aren’t me and they aren’t God.  Their opinions don’t count.  i can’t fight the courts — not that i would want to.  i can’t please my ex-wife, which is why i’m in this situation now.  The others don’t even register on the radar.  So, it remains for me to attempt to heal from hurts, grow in maturity, leave behind old obstacles, and carefully choose profitable relationships.  Going forward, i have questions to answer, and formulating the answers will take time.  So, i gave myself time…time to settle, time to reflect, time to think, time to heal, time to maybe dare to hope again….

Also, i am giving myself a break.  i could be hard on myself for so many things, but i was extremely hard on myself during my entire marriage and all it got me was grief (from the pain of being hurt), depression (from the joy of Living), and loss (as in a loss of proper esteem for myself as i came to believe i was useless to anyone for anything).  Being hard on myself is the last thing i need to be right now.  Sure, it’s not good to sweep things under the rug or not admit my mistakes or try to justify wrong behaviors, but i’ve never done much of those things to begin with.  Instead, i’m usually the first to acknowledge how wrong or hurtful or selfish or immature i am or have been, but that is rarely met by people in my Life (or at least the ones who have been there screaming the loudest) with any kind of mercy or leniency or grace.  So, i need to give myself a break, because no one else is going to do it (or at least very few people)….

Additionally, i am giving myself freedom.  i think the thing i Loved most about my Life before marriage was my willingness to learn and experiment and try.  That all stopped when i got married, because my risks were shared with others and, in particular, my wife.  When others don’t share Your risk aversion index, it is difficult.  Fortunately, my ex-wife was up for most stuff and only got less so once we had gotten burned when some things didn’t work out as we had hoped.  For me, i have learned to trust the LORD Most High regardless of how things work out — and that doing so is a much better option than shutting down or closing up just because something didn’t work out as i thought it should.  However, i understand that others aren’t like that.  i’m not like that naturally, but i have become like that over years of walking with God.  So, i’m giving myself freedom again…freedom to try & fail, freedom to experiment, freedom to do new things, freedom to try again, freedom to watch others & learn, freedom to be led by God….

Anyway, that’s just my thoughts this Finday as we finish up another week at work.  i’m going to pick up my daughter for a three-day weekend and take her swimming tonight and out for a hamburger.

Well, today is the end of my tenth week blogging.  To me, that is a significant milestone as a writer.  i would Love to hear some feedback from You guys who read this Blog as to whether or not it is impacting You, whether or not it matters or makes a difference, or with any suggestions to make it better.  Currently, i’m just trying to be faithful to blog consistently and to be honest with myself & You, and to address things about which i feel passionate.  Let me know Your thoughts….