Last night, i had dinner with a dear friend. He is one of the people about whom i most care in this world, and he has been through many difficulties in his Life that probably would have crippled me. Some of these struggles are ongoing, but i Love this friend like a brother and value him more than i can express with mere words — such an expression would only be possible in hugs or tears or some other form.
He came to see me earlier in the day and confided in me about something that is common to so many people i know and with whom i visit: maintaining intimacy with God during seasons of struggle. i don’t think he minds me using his story as a jumping-off point for this article, but i won’t get into any specifics of his path. i just know that what he is enduring is a common trial and a kind of suffering that is way more common than any of us want to admit happens at all — much less to us….
As someone who is trained in the art of analysis with years of my Life devoted to understanding various kinds of philosophy and a high proclivity along with several years of training in mathematics (both of which include a heavy emphasis on logic), high-level graduate studies in less logical philosophical forms like postmodernism and deconstructionism, theological training in ethics, sociology, history, etc., and linguistics including learning foreign languages, writing & research, rhetorical analysis, debate & argumentation, etc., i am adept and comfortable Living in the land of theory. So, i am good at analyzing situations, connecting the dots into the correct pattern, and then being able to offer a solution. As a counselor, often i am able to give people a theoretical backdrop that helps them understand the more practical & pragmatic areas of their Lives.
However, the theory matters to most people mainly in its ability to help them manage, cope, structure, order, or orient their Lives in a more useful, profitable, & healthy way. People hate doing things they don’t understand, and the theory is the understanding part of our behaviors. i use theory to help people draw a straight line from their behaviors to what they Truly believe — not what they think they believe, but what they Truly believe.
i say that to tell You that i get it, though. Despite being useful for my ability to articulate and explain theory to people, i understand its purpose as it regards to actual behavior, feelings, thought patterns, and actions. i know that theory is not more important than behavior; i just wonder if other people know behavior is not more important than theory. As a matter of fact, both are equally important to the thing that matters the most: fruit.
Having established all of that, here is the issue: people don’t feel close to God when they are struggling, and that causes lots of problems. Today, i want to share with You what i shared with my friend last night in the hopes that it may help You a bit if You ever experience dry times in a hot, quiet, vast desert that overwhelms You, causes You to despair of Life, and relegates You to feeling alone, lost, provisionless, and vulnerable. God forbid that You ever suffer such a time or season or period, but — if You’re a human being — You will most likely encounter that at some point or other. It’s part of our human journey….
The first thing i told my friend was that we think about God wrongly often and think that He is much more rigid, aloof, and concerned about another set of things altogether than He actually is. Now, i know that what i am about to say may seem heretical to most Christians, but that is not going to deter me from saying it. i know it to be the Truth, and how people deal with that is up to them….
It is True that there is a godly way to do everything, and that any other way is not godly. However, sometimes i think people interpret that Truth to mean that God doesn’t have anything to do with people when they sin (usually because of the misguided belief that — since God is holy (or “different” or “other”) — He, therefore, cannot be around sin or tolerate sin…which is complete rubbish and leaves no room for redemption among many other problems with this view) and leaves us to ourselves to figure a way out of our self-made predicaments. And, yet, i wanted my friend (and all of You) to know that God is involved all the time with people who are sinful or lost or hostile to Him.
If God didn’t choose to intervene on our behalf or get involved in our circumstances or rescue us from awful situations, He’d never have any interactions with human beings. That doesn’t mean that He approves of the sin, but it also doesn’t mean that He can’t stand it — or You. i know this is going to come as a shock to some people, but sin, like everything else, is a creation of God. He gave You the choice in the first place, and — without that choice — there is no such thing as “sin.” He knew that You would have the option of “sinning” (going Your own way and missing the mark intended for You to aim to hit) or of “glorifying” (submitting to go His way and partnering with Your Abba in His work). While no one would argue that God didn’t create Lucifer just because Lucifer happens to have made an oppositional choice to God, people do often want to contend that God can’t stand sin. Nonsense. Sin is not an obstacle to God — there is no such thing as an obstacle to God (except for things He allows to be obstacles, like our free will). It is just simply unTrue that God can’t stand sin or won’t tolerate sin. If either of those propositions were True, we all would be in deep trouble….
Therefore, the first thing i want You to know is that God is at work — even in the midst of Your struggle and — yes — even in Your sin, too. It is just not accurate to say that God cannot or will not accomplish good in sinful circumstances. The examples of this are honestly limitless, but let me give You just one to make the point. Let’s imagine that You have two people who have had sexual trauma from abuse in their backgrounds, and they form a relationship and begin having sex outside of marriage. Is that the optimum environment for healing to occur sexually — without the safety of a marriage covenant to provide unconditional acceptance and security? No, it’s not. Is intercourse outside marriage sinful? Yes, it is. Would there be a better way to handle what those people are feeling for each other? Yes, there would be. However, what happens when You come across two people in that scenario who were Loving and gentle and reassuring to one another and they found a measure of healing in each of their Lives due to the relationship and interaction between them? Do You suddenly conclude that God cannot accomplish healing between two human beings outside of marriage even though the vast majority of healing has nothing to do with sex and almost always occurs between human beings? Of course not, and instead You conclude that God is bigger than any person or trauma or set of circumstances and can, therefore, accomplish good even out of bad or less than optimum or even sinful situations.
So, don’t dismiss what God does in Your Life during the times of struggle and pain and loss and suffering and injustice and despair and trouble and You respond to those stimuli in godliness and righteousness and humility and submission. But don’t dismiss what God does in Your Life during those times and You respond in opposition to Him or apathy toward Him or anger or pride or resignation or any other less-than-godly reaction, either. God is working. Period. He is always working….
The second thing i told my friend is that God doesn’t need my friend’s participation to rescue him. Now, just as the first point will probably make people mad, because they have been taught an erroneous lie that God can’t stand or won’t tolerate sin, this point is likely to make You feel less significant and like You matter less than You ever thought. Stay with me, and listen to what i’m saying in the end — not just what it seems that i might be saying in the beginning. God doesn’t need Your help to rescue You….
That’s right — God doesn’t need You to help Him or to allow Him or even to want Him to rescue You. Your participation doesn’t matter at all. Let me illustrate this Truth for You. When i was in high school, i was injured playing basketball, and my back was sprained pretty severely. The doctor who saw me prescribed (yes, on a prescription pad) Lifeguard training for me. (Since i was 14 years old, i wasn’t allowed into the Lifeguard training class sponsored by the city, because i wouldn’t be able to work as a Lifeguard until i was working-age at 16. The doctor knew this, and so he prescribed Lifeguard training for me as a medical necessity to override the city’s policy. Just that part of the story is a fascinating thing to me and can teach us a great deal about the spiritual dynamics behind providence, ordination, and Blessing…). Anyway, when i arrived the first night for the class, the instructor was a former beach Lifeguard supervisor for San Diego. She promptly announced that we would tread water for 45 minutes and anyone left after that could start training. Several people left immediately, and then she trained the rest of us how to properly tread water. It was an amazing experience for me from start to finish.
On the first night, the first lesson was how to rescue someone. It was the foundation of the class on which everything after that built. She explained to us that — when a person who can’t swim is drowning — they will not be of any help to You. In fact, they will automatically drown You to get just one more breath — even though that is not in their long-term interest. The point she was trying to make to us (and did, by the way, very effectively as she almost drowned several of us over the next few minutes) is that a person who is in survival mode and has switched from rational thinking to instinct cannot (literally can not) listen and obey Your instructions as You try to save them. So, she taught us how to speak to people in that situation as we approached them, how to circumvent their ability to touch us or get their hands on us, how to restrain them and put them in a full-Nelson or some other type of restraint hold, and how to cart them safely back to shore. Then, she tried to kill us (like any drowning person would do) as she made us attempt to rescue her. It was an eye-opening endeavor, let me assure You. The most amazing part was when she told us that — if worse came to worse — we should let them drown and resuscitate them at shore instead of both dying. Wow. There was blood in the water and a broken arm at the end of it all, but she clearly and searingly made the point to all of us as we limped away to come back the next night and resume our training. i never thought twice about whether or not a person who was dying could help me at all while i was trying to save them over the years. They can’t help me, and i know and accept that fact. i also know that — given the chance — they will kill me if i let them….
Please don’t think that God needs Your help to rescue You — He doesn’t. He is perfectly capable — as are those trained Lifeguards — of getting You to shore, administering CPR or whatever measures necessary, and doing anything else to save You. Of course, it helps for You to cooperate, but it isn’t required if He decides to do it without You.
Therefore, what i told my friend was this: Be genuine, authentic, & real with God. Don’t worry about being angry or yelling at Him or giving up or whatever. Just be real. He can handle it — whatever You have to give Him. What He can’t stand is lukewarmness, but He can take hot or cold. The Psalms are replete with this kind of raw emotion and distorted perspective and human frustration. People sometimes wonder why the story of Job or the perspective of Solomon or Jeremiah or the Psalms that are less-than-joyful are in Scripture. Well, they are in there to let You know that it’s OK, and that our God isn’t threatened or surprised or unaware of our predicaments, our opinions, or our responses to any number of painful factors.
So, secondly, be authentic with God, and know that He both can and is willing to rescue You despite whether or not You choose to participate in His salvation of You….
The third thing i want You to know is that God will provide someone in Your Life to help You. i told my dear friend that i am there for him, that i Love him more than a brother, and that i will do anything in my power to help, care for, or otherwise Bless him as he undergoes suffering in this Life. Now, that is an important thing — the solidarity of a fellow human being.
In Scripture, it’s called “koinonia,” which is usually translated into English as “fellowship.” This is the entire basis for the Lord Of The Rings series (especially the first part called The Fellowship Of The Ring). i blogged about this on Crēday, Matamín 12th, 6636 (Wednesday, 02-16-2011) Theological Post (TP Article) #10: Helping Each Other Limp Along.
As we ate together and hung out, i shared with my friend that one thing God has tasked me with in this Life is reducing pressure on people. Pressure, as doctors will tell You, causes enormous problems with the human body. Rarely does anything good come from pressure. Although there are some useful contexts, pressure mostly causes harm, shame, and other bad effects on human beings. Many people form their existences around pressure (if not around conflict or some other addiction), because it makes them feel “aLive,” but little do they know that it is harming them and shortening their days all along.
The third thing is this: support Your comrades in ways that reduce pressure on them, and look for people who will do that for You as You endure suffering. A cup of cold water is worth much more than most people realize, but that is not a foreign concept to our God.
i hope all of You realize how much i root for You as You go through Your days. Each day Truly has enough trouble of its own, and i am firmly on Your side as You navigate the stormy and pirate-filled seas around You. Blessings to You today from the LORD Most High, and all my Love….
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