Tuesday, 02-01-2011 (Ünday, Jāseph 27th, 7703); Cultural Post #8: And The Winner Is….

“A competitor will find a way to win. Competitors take bad breaks and use them to drive themselves just that much harder. Quitters take bad breaks and use them as reasons to give up. It's all a matter of pride…”.
(Nancy Lopez)

“It’s all a matter of pride…”.  Indeed.

Well, the Grammys are coming up shortly and the Golden Globes have been awarded as the Oscar nominations have just been announced.  The world is abuzz with awards…

A close friend of mine used to work at a sporting goods company that does the bulk of the trophies, medals, plaques, etc. for local schools, little leagues of various sports, and other groups.  i remember him telling me one day how disgusted he was with parents who came in to order awards.  Seems that parents were coming in to his store after the championship games and ordering their individual kids trophies that were larger and more gaudy than the actual championship trophies awarded to the actual winners of the league.  Same thing with individual awards: parents were ordering medals or whatever was given to the MVP of the basketball tournament (or whatever), but they were ordering more ornate or impressive versions than the school sprang for on the actual awards.  So, i asked him what i thought was a very logical question: “Well, but You don’t do them, right?”  He answered, “O no, we make them.  If they’re willing to pay for them, then we make them.”

Astounding....

Over the years, i have seen the nature of awards change.  Now, there are awards that are only selected by the fans and devoid of any “judges” input such as the MTV awards.  Then, there are mixed computations like that of Major League Baseball, where the fans’ votes count but can be augmented or figured alongside the All-Star Manager’s input.  Of course, many of the older awards are still based on record sales or an Olympic panel of judges or on the evaluations of their peers in their respective industry or whatever, but it begs the question: Who decides what constitutes an award.

i remember a conversation i once had with an Ivy League official who was courting me to study in his graduate program.  He was a department chairperson, and he was offering me a spot in his department with an eye toward a teaching position when i finished my Ph.D.  When i asked about the entrance requirements and standardized tests, he explained that Ivy League schools don’t take standardized test scores.  Later, he informed me that none of the Ivy League schools are “accredited,” because who — he wondered — would accredit them?  In his words, all the people who have the expertise to advise the Ivy League schools work at them, so no one at an Ivy League school was going to listen to a panel of junior and community college presidents tell them how to teach.  It was a fascinating conversation to me, and i learned a great deal that day about evaluation.

Then, there were the awards i got and didn’t get in school.  As an elementary school student, i remember the outside competitions that we had with all kinds of activities from sprints to skills-oriented contests like punting a football to flying kites, and how we were generally awarded colored ribbons for first through sixth place and then everyone else (yes, everyone) got a purple “participant” ribbon.  Even then, i remember being ashamed to receive such a mockery.  Later, as a successful basketball player at all levels, i was among the highest-scoring players in Texas my junior & senior years and had numerous scholarships available to me for basketball.  The funny thing was how political the awards were among the coaches.  They took their player being selected to the all-state team (or some lower level) as a personal commentary on their coaching ability, and a player at a losing school wasn’t awarded no matter how good he or she was in relation to the other players.

Even in the pro sports now (which are the constant object of incessant talk radio), a great player is penalized for his team being poor.  A great quarterback may not make the hall of fame if he didn’t win a Super Bowl, while an average quarterback is lauded for all-time if he wins but one and just doesn’t make mistakes as a game-manager.  In baseball, a pitcher is judged on wins and not on his personal performance.  It makes one wonder whether it is better to be lucky and be an average player on a great team or to be great and enjoy being great while serving a tightwad owner or finicky fan base or other less desirable situation.

In high school, i was a freshman on my school’s One-Act Play roster.  We had a great group of amateur thespians, a hilarious play, a wonderful drama coach (like high schoolers need any coaching in drama), and a supportive administration.  At the regional competition, i did my normal performance for which i had been awarded All-Star Cast every competition.  When the judge came over to tell us we had gotten third and, therefore, missed the State meet by one place, he said something very interesting to us and then to me.

His first comment was, “Well, i couldn’t decide between You guys and one of the two other schools.  i mean, clearly i think the best school was head-and-shoulders above the other two of You and that You two were head-and-shoulders above the other schools…but i just couldn’t really decide which one of You deserved to go on and which one didn’t.  So, i flipped a coin, and You lost…”.

Honest to god, Dude — just shut the @!^% up.  You get the “award” (pun fully intended) for “Most Likely To Sound Like A State Trooper” (since i’m talking about my high school days).  Needless to say, i was appalled at this “judge’s” decision-making process.  Then, he proceeded to go over the “notes” (as they are called) with our group of what he liked and didn’t like.  Afterwards, he began his notifications to us of our individual awards, and he started by saying something to me.  He said, “Mr. Kuhn, i want to start with You…”.  my heart, i confess, began to beat a little faster, since i already didn’t like the putz….

“You,” he said, “are very gifted.”  Hmmm…maybe this guy isn’t so bad, after all….

“i thought You were clearly one of the two best actors here, along with so-and-so (from the winning play).  And, similar to Your school’s dilemma, i couldn’t decide which one of the two of You should get Best Actor.  However, he’s a Senior, and this is his last year.  You are just a freshman and will have three more shots at it, so i gave him Best Actor and You All-Star Cast.  However, i want You to know i don’t make any distinction between the two of You and think both of You should major in drama in college…”.  Yep, i knew it — a definite putz….

In the early 1980s, when skateboarding seemed to be taking off, and then later in the 1990s, when extreme sporting really hit big, ESPN began a competition called “The X Games.”  In the 2000s, i served as a Board member for an outreach based on a skate park to help give kids productive ways to spend their time.  One of my favorite things about the skating culture was the lack of competition and the mutual encouragement of the people who just wanted to enjoy one another’s company, fellowship, & skills without grading one another.  They were each other’s biggest fans, and they Loved celebrating accomplishments without resorting to assigning rankings.

When i was a missions major in college, i remember my missions professor trying to convey to my class one day that competition is one of the great evils of the world.  Of course, i couldn’t be bothered (at that time) with such nonsense!  i mean, seriously, competition bad?  Who thinks that?  Funny, because now i totally agree with him.  i see competition as a satanic form of devaluing humanity as opposed to how most people see it as a healthy way of recognizing achievement.  O, You want proof?  Yea, like i couldn’t see that one coming….

Well, i suppose my proof is in the damage done to people, but that’s anecdotal and i can already see the gnashing of teeth and hear the moaning of vicarion parents amongst the protests of the gifted children that such “stories” don’t prove anything.  So, i’ll refrain from a debate on that, except to say that i doubt that Adam & Eve competed with one another, but i do remember a fellow named Cain being obsessed about it.  Ring any bells?  Yea, i rest my case….

Anyway, there’s a new book out called Tiger Moms, or something like that.  And we can’t get anything done in this country, because we constantly jump from one election cycle to the next without taking a pause to govern in between.  And art has been commoditized, commercialized, and confiscated so that it is now judged by record sales and page views and pop paparazzi coverage instead of by how much it moves us and how much it informs us and how much it provokes us to become better.  And junior high kids are the subject of national rankings while Little Leaguers play on ESPN and preteens compete on Disney and fifth-graders who are abnormally average routinely kick the snot out of trailer park idiots with a host that can’t decide whether or not to go formal or hillbilly.  And somewhere, a helicopter mom or dad is buying a trophy that’s bigger than the championship team trophy that says “1^st Place in our hearts” while it overtakes the room and dwarfs the homemade pottery made on a quiet Saturday by the family.

Remember, this is a cultural post.  And i don’t like our culture — or at least certain parts of it.  Here’s a suggestion, Sparky.  Get Your kid off the couch and Love them whether or not they can dunk a basketball.  Let them know that playing sports or getting all A’s has nothing to do with whether or not You Love them and that they have a place in Your home and heart both now and in the future.  Take care of them when they need it, release them when You can safely let them roam, and make sure they can always look back and see You ready to rescue them.  Threaten them regularly with the severest of kisses if they misbehave and only score 36 points in the hockey game instead of Your goal of 43.  And maybe, just maybe, when they grow up, they won’t need prescription meds when You come to their mind….

Remember, this is a cultural post.  And i don’t like our culture — or at least certain parts of it.  Here’s a suggestion, Sparky.  Get Your kid off the couch and Love them whether or not they can dunk a basketball.  Let them know that playing sports or getting all A’s has nothing to do with whether or not You Love them and that they have a place in Your home and heart both now and in the future.  Take care of them when they need it, release them when You can safely let them roam, and make sure they can always look back and see You ready to rescue them.  Threaten them regularly with the severest of kisses if they misbehave and only score 36 points in the hockey game instead of Your goal of 43.  And maybe, just maybe, when they grow up, they won’t need prescription meds when You come to their mind….

i’m not overtly saying the points today as much as i am hoping You might get them without me having to spell them out, but — if You need me to spell them out — then just ask in the comments.  Bottom line: God doesn’t want Your best — He wants You, because You’re His best….